Hooray, for programmers and hooray for open source software.

I seem to be doing the procrastination thing again. It’s been months since I finished my certification program in Web Design/Development and I’ve used the time to regain some much needed social life again, build or maintain sites for friends and acquaintances and mess around with more training in CS4.

The one thing I haven’t used the time for is to upgrade my ePortfolio and complete my personal Web Site or do any meaningful self-promotion.

Part of this procrastination thing is aversion to late, late nights and feeling totally isolated again. Part is from rebelling against the strict self-discipline I practiced for damn near 2 years. And a part is also from fear of not being good enough.

I’m guessing that getting back to basics will stoke are my creative fires once again and relieve my fear-based feet dragging. Once I get fired up about creating something (like an interactive document), I get completely lost in the joy of putting the whole thing together.

Now, where did I put that magic Muse? Hmm…I could swear she was around here somewheres!

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Looks like that won’t matter if the dire predictions about 2012 are true, though, will it? The last time we had this level of hysteria and fear mongering was with 2001 bombing attack on the World Trade Center and Pentagon.

I’m wondering if any of the money we common citizens gave so selflessly to the 9/11 victims ever got distributed to them? Probably not. Most went into some spurious fund to swell the back pockets of the politicians at that time, no doubt. And our news media conveniently forgot to inform us that none of the money went to help any of the rescuers who became very ill through their valiant efforts to find anyone amongst the rubble at ground zero. Oh, well…business as usual.

The latest scam perpetrated by the W.H.O. is just another example of shameless abuse of power and corruption at the highest levels. I am appalled at the common citizen’s ability to wink at such corruption and abuse and not raise a stink about having a useless and possibly dangerous vaccine shoved down our throats for the benefit of yet another huge corporation’s CEO.

What happened to human rights? Corporations are NOT HUMAN, folks. When did we forget that and elevate corporations (because of their wealth) above humans? Isn’t it time to make a better choice?

And while we’re on the topic of abuses, why haven’t the banksters who stole all our money and then got bailed out with all their bonuses and golden parachutes intact, been held accountable? Why haven’t any regulations on derivatives been instituted, Congress? Why hasn’t AIG been deemed a monopoly and dismantled? Why are we still dealing with these robber barons as though they are sacrosanct? Why are we not holding them accountable for their criminally irresponsible behaviors against humanity? WHY???

During my search for a copy of Seth’s book through my local library system, I found another intriguing title mentioned and decided to ‘check it out’ to find out what it was all about; Bruce Lipton’s book, The Biology of Belief.

If you are at all interested in what motivates you (or other people) and why we function (as a species) the way we do, this book will fill you in. It does have some science in it but Lipton has a way of explaining things so even those who flunked science can grasp and understand his very plausible concepts. Good read. Can barely put it down!

One of my friends chided me with, ‘You and all your books!’ recently. I had to smile when she said this.

She’s vivacious, gregarious and a simple delight to be with but not much into books just now. You see, she just graduated from college with her bachelor’s degree in mass communications. Creative, thoughtful, energetic and ambitious to be making films and connecting with people, she just has no time currently to spend on ‘books’! Right now, it’s all about doing rather than being.

I am blessed to have her energy and enthusiasm in my life. She makes me smile when I look at her and look back at my life. She has a fire in her belly because she’s out to build a career and make her contributions to the world.

I, on the other hand, have been making contributions for years. Mentoring is more important to me than blazing new trails. Acting as a human sign post seems and feels more appropriate to me. Being. Just being.

Yes, there are still things for me to do and active contributions for me to make, but my role has changed. Part of that transition involves searching out what others are saying and doing. Then sharing the best of what I find with others who are still blazing trails and leading the way.

My heart tells me these energetic new leaders still need guidance, help and mentoring so they will stay true to course in their quest for a better world. God bless the child who is on a quest!

I recall where I was and what I was doing but that seems to pale in comparison to what I was feeling. At first, I felt outrage and a horrendous sense of loss and despair. Then, I felt compassion and awe and inspiration as I watched the selfless acts of heroism and generosity flow from people all over this great nation of ours. The acts of kindness that poured in from across the globe touched me to my deepest places.

I am reminded of the basic goodness of humans inspite of the choices of a very few. I am reminded of the healing that comes from a simple act of forgiveness. Forgiveness – the one thing that can turn tragedy into growth, unity and healing. Forgiveness – the balm for a wounded nation.

Today, I practice forgiveness…

This blog talked about dealing with an uncomfortable situation and how Rhoda handled it. Rhoda ended her blog this way:

“I left the computer lab feeling hassled and confused. However, I learned three important lessons. Stay tuned as I reveal the three important lessons I learnt.”

Needless to say, I’m definitely hooked into finding out what Rhoda learned from her unpleasant encounter.

The other post was about a friend’s experience in rural Maryland while driving to work on back roads. She encountered a small herd of cows wandering the road on their way to ‘somewhere’ as she sat patiently waiting for them to exit the road in search of their destination. Her comment went something like this:

“As their long tongues and big eyes stared at me, I had a strange desire for a hamburger! Thank you, Mr. Cow, for your deliciousness!”

What do these two posts have in common? Gratitude.

My friend’s comment about the cow experience addressed gratitude directly and reminded me how powerful that emotional state is. Rhoda’s comment about what she will reveal as her lesson from her encounter reminds me that even unpleasant encounters conceal a gift. And gratitude is the appropriate response to having received that gift. Receiving it requires being aware of it, though.

So, as my next step in breaking the negative thinking habit, I am practicing gratitude today. I am grateful even for the uncomfortable things in my life. As I ‘look for the positive’ hidden in the negative, I am reminded of the small child who asked for a pony for Christmas.

His parents, not wanting to say no outright, decided to use reverse psychology on the little boy and gave him a pile of horse manure and a shovel to show him that he wasn’t ready for the responsibility of owning and caring for a pony.

When the little boy saw the mound of manure and the small shovel lying beside it, his eyes lit up. He picked up the shovel and started to dig. His parents were stunned at his behavior and his dad asked him what he was doing.

His reply? There must be a pony hidden somewhere in here!

Hmm…How many times do I forget to dig for the ‘gift’ that came wrapped in an uncomfortable situation? If I keep my thoughts focused on seeing beyond the discomfort, maybe I will catch a glimpse of the gift waiting for me.

The technique I’m using today comes from a tip one of the speakers on PBS’s Fall Festival gave during her talk to women on post-menopausal issues. The technique is to think of something that pulls your heartstrings and makes you just ooh and aah and want to nurture that thing.

Some of the things that make me do that are baby animals, human babies and children. Yours may be seeing a beautiful sunset, reading an inspirational quote or poem or listening to music.

Whatever it is that gives you that sense of wanting to nurture and protect the thing you are oohing and aahing over is what you hold in mind. Now, keep thinking about it until you feel the release in your chest or heart area. When you feel that release, just notice how good your body feels and take a moment to savor the feeling. Each time you feel the tension return, recall the image of that special nurtured object and go through the process of allowing yourself to mentally ooh and aah again and savor that feeling of well-being.

Practicing this first step of changing your mind-set from tense to alert but relaxed and safe will help to set the stage for dealing with the demons you will face in a later step. For now, just continue to practice this mental act of nurturing all day. Then, extend the practice to each day as you awaken or face another stressor. Practicing and recalling the release and sense of safety and well-being is what we are after. Recall the exercise as often as possible whenever you are feeling stressed as well as when you need a little ‘lift’.

Each time you experience this release around the heart area and the feeling that spreads throughout your body of well-being and security, you are releasing powerful healing hormones from your brain and endocrine system. Our goal is to make this a habit to replace the habit of focusing on stressors that cause you to release fight/flight hormones. Those hormones can be harmful when your body experiences them over and over day after day. The healing hormones are actually the janitors and mothers that come in and sweep away the debris left by the stress-related hormones. And everybody can use a good cleanup by a loving mom.

Next step, find your treasure…

Seth says the problem with positive thinking that we don’t think positively more often because it’s harder to think positively than it is to think negatively.

Balloon Juice!

Can you tell I don’t agree with Seth’s premise? Seems to me this is like saying that smoking is just easier to do than not smoking. The logic behind the argument sounds correct but the statement is still based on a flawed assumption that one kind of thinking is more difficult than another because of human nature.

Negative thinking is a learned behavior and has become a habit through a great deal of reinforcement and practice. The pattern has been learned from an early age and is strongly reinforced by family, school and society at large. If the behavior is learned, it can be unlearned (B. F. Skinner and his operant conditioning model of learning theory).

But what really caught my attention was not the postulate that it is easier and more natural to think negatively, but a statement Seth made about the true power of positive thought and I quote,

“Give someone an easy math problem, watch them get it right and then they’ll do better on the ensuing standardized test than someone who just failed a difficult practice test.

No, positive thinking doesn’t allow you to do anything, but it’s been shown over and over again that it improves performance over negative thinking.“

Stop a moment and think about that. The person who succeeds on a test question prior to taking a standardized test scores better than “someone who just failed a difficult practice test.”

Why? The success and/or failure experience realigns the mind to a ‘set’ of parameters that determines the way it responds to events following the success and/or failure by triggering strong emotional memories of other failure or success events. This change in mind-set realigns the mind to that emotional memory which is based on a belief in probable outcomes.

If the mind has just experienced a success, it realigns with the ‘success set’ parameters and will be primed to use this mind-set to process and understand events until another major shift occurs in the mind-set. Keep in mind that there is a belief upon which any mind-set is based. The belief is probably that success is more plausible than not.

What determines a shift in mind-set? A shift in attention. This shift is preceded by a stimulus that is noticeably different from current ‘background noise’. Perhaps it’s a bright colored insect floating by or the color of the sky, or a startling sound. Anything different from the background noise can ‘grab’ our attention. But the shift occurs when that stimulus is associated with a strong emotion – either positive or negative in nature.

So, when I succeed in solving the easy math problem, I associate that success with other successes I’ve had and I feel more confident about solving the next problem. I believe that I can succeed. But, if I fail a difficult practice test, I then score below my own average score on that same standardized test because I believe I will fail. I’ve now shifted to a failure mind-set. I’m feeling unsure, mentally down about having just failed to answer a difficult question and a little fearful about my ability to solve other problems. Now, I’m more focused on my feelings of sadness, frustration and fear than I am on understanding and solving the next problem. My mind-set  is actually causing me to have a greater chance of failing.

In the first scenario, I’m feeling confident, comfortable and alert and expecting to succeed. In the second, I’m feeling fearful, uncomfortable and unsure of my ability to succeed so I am expecting to fail. I believe that my chance to succeed is lower than my chance to fail.

This leads me back to the positive thinking stuff. If I believe I can succeed, I will succeed more often than not. If I believe I will fail, I will fail more often than not.

So, what I really have to do is change my belief. How can I do that? This is fodder for another blog.

For starters, I used one of my two ladders to reach the fascia boards on the addon to my house and painted them. Next up, I painted and touched up the trim on the storage building and a couple of the window frames plus painted the front door jamb and painted the inside of my enclosed front porch, then did some furniture rearrangement and general cleanup.

I changed all the curtains in the patio room and the front porch, rearranged some of the items on my small patio. I now have a somewhat private place on my patio to sip my morning coffee and watch the honey bees collect nectar and pollen from the two Rose of Sharon bushes right off my patio.

I’m hoping the yard crew comes early this week since the recent rains have allowed the yard to ‘takeoff’ and grow like it was spring! There is rain in the forecast for Thurs or Friday so that’s why a visit from the yard crew early in the week would be quite helpful.

I now have a smallish pile of items ready to take to Goodwill but am sure this pile will grow over the week and will be more substantial by the end of this week.

I don’t fully comprehend the psychological dynamics that have kicked in here, but I’m feeling more energized and jazzed inspite of my exhaustion from the physical labor that caused me trouble sleeping on Saturday night. Must be something to do with new beginnings and closure. Anyway, the feeling is most gratifying.

I’m reading a book titled “4-Hour-Workweek” by Tim Ferriss. In it, Ferriss challenges us to shake up our ‘accepted but unchallenged’ beliefs about work and time. He’s at it again this morning on his blog. He has taken Martin Luther King Jr.’s Letter from a Birmingham City Jail and highlighted parts of it to help us overcome our current mindset and start to really question if our way of doing stuff is working for us or not. His blog concerned “How to Respond to Criticism”. I encourage you to take a trek over to his blog and read the entire article. The URL is: http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/

No matter what belief I hold about my ‘status quo’, Ferriss rams right into it and challenges me to start asking if this is ‘good enough’ for me or if there might be a better way to see things. Perhaps, it’s for this reason that I feel so inspired to go even further with my home projects.

I broke through my apathy of self-talk that kept saying, “you’re a woman and women don’t do these things. Men do them.” Going ahead and redefining what activities I’m going to allow myself to do or try to do around the house has given me a sense of empowerment. There are things I can do. There are things I am not willing to ‘bone up’ on and will call in professional help. But, for the time being, I can overcome the excess stuff I’m storing in my garage and use this space for something that works better for me. All because I decided to question the belief that home improvement jobs are not a woman’s domain.

What beliefs are you hanging on to that are holding you back?

He either got lost or someone else in the office grabbed him up and set him to work on another project. He’s a really good kid and is very knowledgeable about Internet things.

Maybe, Monday will be a time I can get him back to the videos. He seems to really enjoy the training since he has no tests to take and the concepts are fun and familiar.

Ahhhh! He’s hear and back at it. Someone else had finally released him back to his training. Hooray!